Yet another new phase in life is starting for me. Not one that I wanted, or saw coming, but has come like a slap in the face.
One day after Trae's surgery, I recieved some news via email, that I really never saw coming. I hesitate to even write about it, because I feel so ashamed by it. But, writing it is easier than telling people one at a time. Basically, it comes down to this: I am not going to graduate in May.
I don't even really know how it happened. Everything was going along fine until the end of my last rotation. I guess the stress of Trae's surgery coming up and Chad being layed off from his job just got the best of me. I finished the semester 1 point below passing.
I have spent the last 2 weeks going from feeling crushed and like the last year and a half of my life was wasted, to feeling totally relieved. Now, even as I write this, and everytime someone brings it up, I get teary, kicking myself for the one or 2 answers I should have changed on my final that would have saved me. The truth is, I am devistated.
On the bright side, there is a chance that I can still graduate in 2010. If there is a spot, I can join the 2 year students in the fall and repeat my second year. But I wont know if I have a spot in this class until July. If there is no room, then I will have to start over, and take both years over again. Until July, I plan on getting my CNA liscence and start working somewhere to keep up my nursing skills so I can be better prepared when I finally do graduate...someday.
So, maybe God has His hand in all this, I don't know anymore. Chad and I just have had so much crap come flying at us lately, I just wonder what will come next. Who knows?
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3 comments:
I just have to say one more time how much I admire and look up to you through everything. Obviously this is very difficult and only God knows the reason -- maybe He decided that you need a vacation from stress this semester! Whatever the reason, I have NO DOUBT that you will be a great nurse when the time is right. I wholeheartedly believe that you will be that much better and stronger because of everything you have been through.
going through school is hard enough, but to add a family to that, as well as all you've gone through with your little guy, I'd say you're a champ for even finishing out the semester!
Do not let this bring you down... obviously, God is speaking to your heart that His love for you is unchanging, and that He is and always will be there with you no matter what!
Hang in there! =)
Lotsa love,
Jen
if they could only curve the grades based on life.. you'd have the highest grade in the class!! love you! :) regina
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