Yet another new phase in life is starting for me. Not one that I wanted, or saw coming, but has come like a slap in the face.
One day after Trae's surgery, I recieved some news via email, that I really never saw coming. I hesitate to even write about it, because I feel so ashamed by it. But, writing it is easier than telling people one at a time. Basically, it comes down to this: I am not going to graduate in May.
I don't even really know how it happened. Everything was going along fine until the end of my last rotation. I guess the stress of Trae's surgery coming up and Chad being layed off from his job just got the best of me. I finished the semester 1 point below passing.
I have spent the last 2 weeks going from feeling crushed and like the last year and a half of my life was wasted, to feeling totally relieved. Now, even as I write this, and everytime someone brings it up, I get teary, kicking myself for the one or 2 answers I should have changed on my final that would have saved me. The truth is, I am devistated.
On the bright side, there is a chance that I can still graduate in 2010. If there is a spot, I can join the 2 year students in the fall and repeat my second year. But I wont know if I have a spot in this class until July. If there is no room, then I will have to start over, and take both years over again. Until July, I plan on getting my CNA liscence and start working somewhere to keep up my nursing skills so I can be better prepared when I finally do graduate...someday.
So, maybe God has His hand in all this, I don't know anymore. Chad and I just have had so much crap come flying at us lately, I just wonder what will come next. Who knows?
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Our Hero
The first walk Trae took without crying the entire time! Progress!!
A tired boy, sleeping on his new train pillow from Mama.
Here's Trae with all his friends, including his new kitten, Peter, one day after the surgery
Progress Update
Just talked to the dr about what's going on with Trae. Here's the story from what we understand:
While Trae was in surgery, he didn't recieve any blood, which is unusual. So, they have been watching his hemoglobin levels carefully, and in the past day, they have gone down. Today it is around a 7, yesterday it was around 8. (A normal level is about 11-15). The doctors have been debating whether or not to go ahead and give him a transfusion, but so far, he hasn't. He also has some fluid around his right lung. So, today they are going to give Trae some IV medication to get rid of the fluid and make him pee more, which should also help his hemoglobin level to come up a little bit. He'll have more blood tests tomorrow, and if the level hasn't gone up yet, he will get a transfusion.
So, if all goes well, Trae should be coming home on Monday. Thank you to everyone for all your prayers. Trae, himself, is a real trooper. The only thing he hates around here is going for walks in the hallways. I don't know why, but with every walk we take, he cries the entire time. The other nurses and patients must think he's being tortured! :)
Stay tooned for more updates, and a picture or 2!
While Trae was in surgery, he didn't recieve any blood, which is unusual. So, they have been watching his hemoglobin levels carefully, and in the past day, they have gone down. Today it is around a 7, yesterday it was around 8. (A normal level is about 11-15). The doctors have been debating whether or not to go ahead and give him a transfusion, but so far, he hasn't. He also has some fluid around his right lung. So, today they are going to give Trae some IV medication to get rid of the fluid and make him pee more, which should also help his hemoglobin level to come up a little bit. He'll have more blood tests tomorrow, and if the level hasn't gone up yet, he will get a transfusion.
So, if all goes well, Trae should be coming home on Monday. Thank you to everyone for all your prayers. Trae, himself, is a real trooper. The only thing he hates around here is going for walks in the hallways. I don't know why, but with every walk we take, he cries the entire time. The other nurses and patients must think he's being tortured! :)
Stay tooned for more updates, and a picture or 2!
Friday, December 12, 2008
The Surgery
This morning marks 48 hours that we have been in the hospital. Trae seems to be returning to his normal self-not sleeping well and constantly asking to go home, or asking for whoever isn't here at the moment.
The surgery itself seemed to be successful, according to our surgeon, Dr Fortuna. The goal basically was to remove the thickened tissue on his septum in the left ventricle and that would be able to help the mitral valve function like it was suppost to, with minimal leaking. The doctor told us that before they closed his chest, they knew it was successful.
Trae himself has been recovering well. He took 4 walks down the hallways yesterday, crying through each one. Every time someone told him how great he was doing, he told them, "No I'm not! Don't say that!" That sounds like Trae! :)
As far as Chad and I, we are surviving. Chad has been fighting a terrible cold, so I told him to get some Nyquill and go home to sleep last night. I know he needed sleep more than anything. I escaped for about 2 hours yesterday to go home for a shower, but I've been sleeping in a rocking chair next to Trae's bed. And since Trae isn't sleeping well, neither am I. That's ok though. I'll catch up on sleep when we go home. I'm sure he will too.
So, I'm really doing ok here. Being in nursing school has made me want to learn as much as I can while I'm here, so I keep bugging the nurses with questions about what they're doing. I've only spent 2 days in the cardiac ICU, but never in the peds, so a lot of this stuff is new to me. Part of me feels guilty, like I should forget about learning right now and focus on Trae, but the nursing side of me can't shake the questions! There is still so much to learn! I can't help it!
More updates to come...
The surgery itself seemed to be successful, according to our surgeon, Dr Fortuna. The goal basically was to remove the thickened tissue on his septum in the left ventricle and that would be able to help the mitral valve function like it was suppost to, with minimal leaking. The doctor told us that before they closed his chest, they knew it was successful.
Trae himself has been recovering well. He took 4 walks down the hallways yesterday, crying through each one. Every time someone told him how great he was doing, he told them, "No I'm not! Don't say that!" That sounds like Trae! :)
As far as Chad and I, we are surviving. Chad has been fighting a terrible cold, so I told him to get some Nyquill and go home to sleep last night. I know he needed sleep more than anything. I escaped for about 2 hours yesterday to go home for a shower, but I've been sleeping in a rocking chair next to Trae's bed. And since Trae isn't sleeping well, neither am I. That's ok though. I'll catch up on sleep when we go home. I'm sure he will too.
So, I'm really doing ok here. Being in nursing school has made me want to learn as much as I can while I'm here, so I keep bugging the nurses with questions about what they're doing. I've only spent 2 days in the cardiac ICU, but never in the peds, so a lot of this stuff is new to me. Part of me feels guilty, like I should forget about learning right now and focus on Trae, but the nursing side of me can't shake the questions! There is still so much to learn! I can't help it!
More updates to come...
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Make-a-Wish
About 5 months ago, Chad and I took Trae and Riley to the hospital for dental surgery. While we were there, we were approached by an employee, asking if we had ever been referred to the Make-a-Wish foundation. We told her no, why would we have been? Our kids are not terminal or have cancer or anything like that. She told us that she volunteers for the Make-a-Wish foundation, and knows that any child with a congential heart defect qualifies to make a wish. She asked us if we would mind if she got some information about the boys out of their charts and referred us. We, of course, said we didn't mind!
Well. that was in August, and we have been asking Trae what his wish would be. His first wish was to ride on the treespade with Papa. (Big suprise!) But, after looking through some of the papers that were given to us, one picture caught his eye. A picture of a little girl swimming with dolphins. He immediately got excited and said, "I want to do that!" So, for 5 months now, he's been talking about going to the beach and swimming with dolphins.
Finally, tonight we met with 3 ladies from the Make-a-Wish foundation about granting Trae and Riley a wish. And, sure enough, Trae told them that he wished to go to the beach and swim with dolphins. After they "interviewed" Trae, they asked us a ton of questions, told us they would buy us new luggage (since we've never been anywhere, we don't have much), and we would be picked up and taken to the airport in a limo!
We are beyond excited! I feel like one of those people on TV who win a fabulous trip and you wonder what they did to deserve that prize. I don't know what I did to deserve this trip, but I am so so thankful for it! I remember talking to Chad last summer, saying, "We need a vacation so badly" knowing that we couldn't afford anything right now. God definately heard us and answered a prayer we didn't even know we were praying!
So, right now, we don't know when exactly we are going. It really depends on me and when I am taking my boards after graduation. And we don't know where we're going yet. Florida? Hawaii? California? Any suggestions for a good family resort? :)
Well. that was in August, and we have been asking Trae what his wish would be. His first wish was to ride on the treespade with Papa. (Big suprise!) But, after looking through some of the papers that were given to us, one picture caught his eye. A picture of a little girl swimming with dolphins. He immediately got excited and said, "I want to do that!" So, for 5 months now, he's been talking about going to the beach and swimming with dolphins.
Finally, tonight we met with 3 ladies from the Make-a-Wish foundation about granting Trae and Riley a wish. And, sure enough, Trae told them that he wished to go to the beach and swim with dolphins. After they "interviewed" Trae, they asked us a ton of questions, told us they would buy us new luggage (since we've never been anywhere, we don't have much), and we would be picked up and taken to the airport in a limo!
We are beyond excited! I feel like one of those people on TV who win a fabulous trip and you wonder what they did to deserve that prize. I don't know what I did to deserve this trip, but I am so so thankful for it! I remember talking to Chad last summer, saying, "We need a vacation so badly" knowing that we couldn't afford anything right now. God definately heard us and answered a prayer we didn't even know we were praying!
So, right now, we don't know when exactly we are going. It really depends on me and when I am taking my boards after graduation. And we don't know where we're going yet. Florida? Hawaii? California? Any suggestions for a good family resort? :)
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